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  • Kay Gravesande

The Power of Positivity

Fun Fact: You can manifest your reality. Spoiler Alert: this is a post about the inner power you possess, and how to tap into it. When you hear of vision board parties, meditation and good vibes, what do you think that is all about? It's a play on energy and an effort to control the thoughts and aura surrounding you. For my newbies, you may think - "why? I can't control what happens to me anyway". Well, you're wrong, sorta. You can't control what people do or say to you or what happens to you day by day (i.e., freak accidents, a bird pooping on your shoulder or it raining on your wedding day)... however, you can shift the energy around you. When you change your mindset to operate on a higher vibration, the universe responds. This is what manifestation is. You can do this through affirmations, aforementioned meditation, karma and more. Let's talk about it.

When I coach my clients through positive affirmations, they are often very skeptical and weary - how can chanting words change my real life? I get it - as a professional, we've worked through our entire career on the premise that hard work is how we will achieve our goals. So what is an affirmation. According to "A positive affirmation is a self-statement that emphasizes your strengths, values, and favorable qualities." In other words, its a simple phrase that reminds you of how amazing you are - something like:

I am intelligent.

I am worthy of love.

I am a great friend.

My colleagues want to be around me.

I'm a loving parent.

To be totally transparent, you need both, hard word and manifestation. As you say your daily affirmations, you change your mindset. Your affirmations should be tailored to whatever your target pain point is. As stated above, I am worthy of love. This a great affirmation for someone who is struggling accepting love (romantically or platonic). The general idea behind affirmations is the more positivity you speak into your life, the more your mind your shift and the easier it will be for you to start finding opportunity instead of challenge in your current situation.

Manifesting is speaking things into existence. For example, if you say "I will have a profitable business, a happy marriage and a fulfilling career", you can and will achieve those things. The more you speak it, the easier it will be for you to achieve each separate piece of the goal. You may start noticing the benefits of your chosen career path over the not-so enjoyable parts of the journey. Your relationship could begin to bloom, or perhaps you create a great new sale that boosts business profits for the fall months. Whatever it is, if you affirm it, you will see prosper.

Is there any science behind affirmations and manifesting?

Science suggests affirmations can be very beneficial, but only when the user believes in their power. There is even evidence to suggest their assistance in patients suffering from depression. writes "Practicing affirmations daily is a useful tool in the fight against depression. It can improve self-image, reduce stress, increase healthy behavior, and boost mood. It is especially effective if the affirmations are personally relevant, realistic, and future-oriented. In addition, creating and performing an affirmation is a relatively simple process that only takes a few minutes".

"One of the key psychological theories behind positive affirmations is self-affirmation theory (Steele, 1988). So, yes, there are empirical studies based on the idea that we can maintain our sense of self-integrity by telling ourselves (or affirming) what we believe in positive ways.Very briefly, self-integrity relates to our global self-efficacy—our perceived ability to control moral outcomes and respond flexibly when our self-concept is threatened (Cohen & Sherman, 2014). So, we as humans are motivated to protect ourselves from these threats by maintaining our self-integrity."

Your tongue has enormous power. Just as your positive words can seed life, your negative words can too. If you walk through the world harping on failure, you won't suddenly strike oil and live happily ever after. You will instead be miserable and sit in your pity party, wondering why the universe treats you so rough, unknowing to your own impact on the situation. If you want to change your life, change your tone and speak grace over your success.

Let's not forget about our buddy meditation. There are several different forms of meditation, but I'm referring to mindfulness in this passage. If you want to be more mindful of the self, it begins with being aware. Meditation helps in the journey to identify the self, key emotions and control reactions. As we said, we cannot control external interactions, however we can learn to notice our reactive behaviors. For example, how many hours a day do you scroll through the internet, TV, email and/or social media. In doing this, you are likely reacting to what you see (as designed). You are coming across things that make you laugh, catch you off guard, tug at your heart strings - cue the sad animal commercials asking for 25 cents per day - or incite anger and despair for our nation.

Mediation can help you control your reactions. By learning to become more aware of each emotion, even those not usually welcomed, we can recognize them quickly, and cognitively decide when and how we want to release them into the universe. In theory, we make friends with all external factors... yes, even those unknown, because we learn to take control of our mind. It's a security, kinda like a mental samurai if you will.

The other key to manifestation is what you believe. Its not enough for me to say "I will be happy in my career"; you also must have faith in your statement. Unfortunately, this is often a missed step. People will chant mantras until their face turns blue without legitimately believing in their own words, and thus nothing changes. Essentially, they are wishing upon a star just because someone said so. In this example, actions done without intent are meaningless.

If you are skeptical about affirmations or meditation, I invite you to start small. Try a month of daily manifesting, waking up each morning stating "I will have a good day, full of love and encouragement". Make notes - physical or mental - of changes that you see throughout each week. These may be finding spare change, receiving compliments, finishing work early, memorable experiences with family, or unusual wins like your toddler eating all of their dinner with no fight or your spouse folding the laundry. If you want to try meditation, start welcoming emotion. Learn to feel anger, happiness, sadness and process it from start to finish. Notice your breathing patterns and the elements around you. Vibrations are real. I encourage you to learn more today.

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